Dirty Little Secret
by Naomi Fugiwara
Summary: Athrun is confused over his feelings for Kira... until a crazy New Year's Eve party mixes things up a bit AthrunxKira Athrun's POV. yaoi! HIATUS


Hey guys! So this is my first ever AthrunxKira fanfic and also my first yaoi/lemon fic so please go easy on me!! ; However, helpful criticism is very much appreciated! In case you missed that first part there: This is a yaoi and lemon story so don't read this if that offends you.

Disclaimer: And now for the typical disclaimer clears throat I do not own Gundam SEED or the characters associated with the series (though I wish I did).

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By the way, the story is from Athrun's point of view.

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Dirty Little Secret

It was New Year's Eve and even though it was already well past midnight, the party was going stronger than ever. It was clear that no one would be getting any sleep that night. The police had been called once earlier due to noise but the neighbors must have realized that it was a hopeless cause because they had not been back. Kira, Dearka, Yzak, and I had been there since 8 pm. The girls had left just after midnight saying something about some TV specials they wanted to watch. Kira was going to go with them but Dearka had somehow managed to convince him to stay after telling him some tale about chick flicks and painting toe nails. Either way, I was glad he had convinced him to stay.

I'm not exactly sure when I realized I had feelings for Kira. Ever since we were children I had felt different around him. Something inside me just always felt warm whenever I was around him. I just thought it was how you were supposed to feel around your best friend… until I realized I never felt that way around my other friends. But then there was the move, and then Lacus… and then Cagali. After I was reunited with Kira and realized that the feelings were still there I hoped they would dim as I became closer to Cagali, but the opposite had happened. Those feelings were now stronger than ever. That night, Cagali might as well not have existed.

By this point of the night, the alcohol had taken its toll on everyone's mind. Every now and then some extremely drunk person would come flying through naked or one would pass out. I could hear Dearka all the way across the room going on and on in a drunken rant about all the things that really bothered him about parties and sitting next to him Yzak had his head down on the table, either totally embarrassed by Dearka's behavior or passed out. Kira had only had a sip or two hours earlier in the night, being the nights designated driver. I myself had only had a few but they were beginning to take their toll on me, as evidenced by what would happen later.

I was in the middle of the dance floor having a great time when out of nowhere some girl, who I had talked to earlier but suddenly couldn't remember her name to save my life, grabbed my arm and in a very annoying high pitched voice shrieked, "COME ON ATHRUN!! We're going to play a GAME!!" … Oh great, I thought. Now I have to play a dumb party game. I looked across the room to Kira hoping he would come save me but he too was being dragged across the room towards a quiet corner where others were gathering to play the game. Once there were about 12 to 14 people the girl with the annoying voice ordered everyone to sit in a circle before announcing "OK! The game is called Extreme Truth, Dare, or Double Dare!"

This got a groan out of everyone. I hadn't played Truth or Dare since grade school and even then I had hated it. "AWWW NOW STOP DAT!!" she whined "I said _extreme _so it's going to be fun!!!" then, before anyone could complain, or in my case, think of an excuse to leave, she pulled out three jars of liquid. "Kay! Here are the rules. All truths, dares, and double dares have to be _as extreme _as you can make them… that's why it's called _extreme._" Gee… you don't say? I thought sarcastically "Now," she continued " if you refuse to answer the truth question or someone knows you're lying, you gotta take a sip of this" she pointed to the least deadly looking of the jars that had some sort of light green/yellow liquid in it "if you refuse to do the dare, you drink this one" the jar she pointed out this time contained a dark brown liquid "and if you refuse to do the double dare, you drink that one." The final jar also contained dark brown liquid but there were clearly some solid chunks of something in it. I sighed, I could tell already that this was going to go well. "OK! So, let's get started!" And that was that.

The game started, and I'll admit, it was a little fun. We all got a good laugh out of some of the dares and laughed at the people who were nearly embarrassed to death by the questions they were being asked. Kira stuck mostly to truth and had no problem answering the questions. I switched off between truth and dare and everything was going well even though I had to lick some random people on the neck and moon half the people there. That's when things started to go downhill.

It became my turn again and I picked truth. After much whispering, the annoying voice girl smirked and said "Ok, Athrun… Are you in love with Kira?" A simple question, but it caught me totally off guard. I looked at Kira who just sat there calmly, waiting for me to say "of course not" or "only as a friend"… but suddenly I couldn't say _anything_. I don't love him, of course not, I love Cagali… but my heart was pounding so hard… I could feel myself begin to blush. STOP IT! My mind cried. YOU DON'T LOVE HIM SO JUST ANSWER THE QUESTION! … But something inside me knew that wasn't true. I managed to mumble something about Kira being my best friend and even though some people shot me suspicious glares, they mostly accepted the answer.

My heart was still pounding when it cycled back around to being my turn again. Annoying voice girl cried in an even more annoying voice than ever "Truth, Dare, or Double Dare?!" I quickly answered "Double Dare." … anything to avoid another awful truth question. I immediately knew I had messed up big time. The girl got an extremely sly look on her face and I could swear I saw horns sticking out of her hair. After conversing with her friends for a second she said. "Here it is. Athrun Zala, I double dare you to kiss Kira!"

"Wha… What?!" I stammered. She gave me her evil grin and said "I _double dare _you to kiss Kira... NO… _make out_ with Kira… for at least one minute. Only, you have to do it _passionately _as if you were about to make love to him!!"

It seemed like the world had suddenly come screeching to a halt. I could no longer hear the loud banging music, the screams, the laughter... I couldn't even hear my heart beat because it too had stopped. In shock, I slowly turned my head to look at Kira and realized… he was _laughing._ "Very funny." He said, "But you're supposed to dare Athrun. You can't involve me in it."

"CAN TOO!!" Annoying voice girl shrieked. "All the other dares involved other people so this one can too!" I slowly looked between Kira and the girl… and then back again. I couldn't. I just _couldn't!..._ but I _wanted _to. I suddenly wanted to more than I had ever wanted to do anything in my life. Kira looked at me and when his eyes met mine they grew wide as if in fear. He _knew._

Slowly, I began to crawl across the floor toward him, the need to kiss him, to touch him, blocking all other things from my mind. "A-Athrun…" he stammered "… don't!" He leaned back and was about to crawl backwards to get away from me when I lunged, knocking him onto his back. With one hand I grabbed his wrists, holding them down above his head, and with the other I cupped his face and caught his mouth with my own. This time, the world didn't just stop, it ceased to exist all together. The only thing that existed was Kira. I felt his body writhe under me as I forced my tongue into his mouth. He squirmed and pulled trying to get away… and then stopped, realizing that I was not going to let him go, surrendering himself. With the hand that had been touching his face, I reached up and brushed away an embarrassed tear from his face before breaking the kiss because I might have passed out from lack of oxygen if I hadn't.

He lay there, gasping for breath, before he slowly opened his eyes and looked at me. In shock I realized that for the first time in my life, I couldn't read what he was thinking. In his eyes I saw a mixture of shock, hurt, and embarrassment… but there was something else… Suddenly, the moment was vanished by a high pitched cry of "One minute thirty seconds!!!!! Geez Athrun! I was worried for a second there that you were going to rape him or something!!" In shock I jumped back, away from Kira, feeling my face grow red. Slowly, Kira sat up and, without looking at anyone, rubbed at his mouth as if trying to erase the memory of my mouth being there.

I don't remember much of the game after that. After the excitement of what everyone had just seen, they got tired of the game pretty quickly and moved on to do other things. I managed to lose Kira in the crowd but it was just as well. I wouldn't have known what to say to him. I went over to where I had last seen Yzak and Dearka and found Dearka still on a roll, only this time ranting about, ironically, people who get so drunk at parties that they can't control themselves. Yzak was no longer at the table with him but had moved out to the dance floor where he was totally lost in the music, drink in hand of course. It didn't look like they would be ready to leave for a while.

I managed to find an empty spot on a couch and sat to watch the crowd for a while, but found I couldn't get my mind off of Kira. I reached a hand up and touched my lips, still remembering the feel of his pressing against mine. I could still feel his body squirming against me… heat flooded the lower part of my body. Woah!! I shouldn't be thinking things like that. It was just a game and he is just my friend… and besides that… he's a _guy_. I forced myself to think of other things. But my mind kept coming back to him. I willed myself to feel bad for forcing that kiss on him, for embarrassing him… but as much as I tried, I could not. In truth, I wasn't sorry at all… in fact… I felt myself wanting to do it all over again. Only, it wasn't just his lips that I wanted… I suddenly found myself wanting… _more. _Getting up and grabbing a drink that I swallowed in one gulp I went off in search of Kira.

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So, that was the first part! I hope you liked it!... Next time, things will get a bit more... _lemon oO _muahaha. 


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